How Kawaii started for me...

by - 2/22/2015

This post is just a short overview of how the Kawaii lifestyle changed me in so many ways, hopefully the readers can understand and see what I went through and if they are going through the same things, there is a silver lining to everything, I'm still going through the challenge as of now, it's not yet over and I still haven't proven myself, I have a lot of work to do, but at least this is a start.
Everybody has their own history as to how they've come to like, appreciate, and love the Kawaii culture, a lot of people appreciate it, but a lot more may find it weird, out of the norms, unnatural and abnormal, it just varies depending on which country you're from, if you're from a country who is open to "unnatural" things or if not. From where I'm from, it can work both ways, Filipinos tend to be very open in some things and very closed in others, we are easily influenced which makes us more open minded I guess, but we also tend to be very judgmental... I know I've had my fair share of problems when it comes to "expressing" how I want to live my life (of course in a positive happy way) and people, even your own family, become judgmental and sometimes can be mean because the lifestyle I chose is "abnormal", which is why I was never able to do the things I want as often as others, I've always wanted to try cosplaying, some people would say why don't I try it, I pass it of as me being not interested or not having the budget, because I pretend like I don't care, but really, I envy the people who're able to cosplay their favorite characters.

My family is not that well off, we live in a simple apartment, we have one car, and we just live a simple life, not too much and not too less, but my relatives actually live the high end life, the "normal" parties they go to, they own more than 1 car, have houses in different locations, and they always go out of the country to travel and even stay for a couple of weeks, sometimes even montsh outside of the country, so they're the "typical", "normal" families who live the extravagant life, I know that they can be judgmental sometimes, and I feel that sometimes my cousins make fun of me (though not anymore recently, we're all adults now hello lol) and I think that gave me the biggest impact and biggest bag of low self esteem and zero confidence... I feel I'm not pretty, I'm not cute enough to cosplay, not Kawaii enough to become "KAWAII", I don't know how to put on make up because my mom is the sporty type, doesn't put on make up, and all my siblings are boys, I'm too scared to try contacts, and I've always felt that those are the factors needed to be cute and kawaii... (although my relatives actually find these things "weird" in the first place) 

and so, I have been following quite a number of inspirational people who motivate you to be who you are, to always express what you are, don't give a damn about what others think of you, and I really try to follow their advice, tips and I try to take their words into heart, but sadly those didn't work for me, I still pretend and hide the fact that I'm into those kinds of things, my parents would sometimes say "why do you dress like that?", "your things are for 12 year old kids", "act your age" and it makes me feel discouraged, they support me in some things related to my Otakuness or to the kawaii lifestyle, but I know deep down inside, they think that all this is a waste of time and it won't do me any good... 

I've always loved anything Kawaii, but never really took it to the next level, until one day... I stumbled upon Kawaii PH, and saw how everyone is so encouraging, empowering, and I also found people who has gone through or even still going through the same things as I do... I found refuge and felt that my existence has finally cleared, I know what I want to do, I know what I needed to do, and that's when I gathered up the courage, to send the Kawaii Leader a long message in facebook, telling her how much I appreciated all their hardwork, how I felt empowered, how I felt I was rescued without them even knowing they did, I expressed how thankful I was and how much I'd love to help out in anyway because it would be a dream of mine, to become an inspiration to people like me, who have these problems, worries, and insecurities, I don't know if I'm lucky or what, but ms. Kaila Ocampo did reply asap and I wasn't ready for her reply, she told me she was very happy and all, and to my surprise asked me a couple of questions, and there I was, sending my creative resume to her, and working for Kawaii PH, became a Kawaii PH blogger and writer, and currently still an intern.,, I have met a lot of people with whom I've always wanted to become friends with, and I also realized how big yet at the same time small the world is.

I realized I don't need to put on a lot of make up, to put on contacts, to have lolita clothes, to be Kawaii, I just needed to be myself, and that's why I'm confident that I'm dedicated to be a part of Kawaii PH, my dream for now is to help Kawaii PH achieve their dream, I'm already 22 years old, still haven't achieved anything in terms of work, not even close... but I believe that Kawaii PH will be my guide and my goal, to reach the dream that I still need to search for...

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this~ 
I hope whatever you're going through, you'd be able to go through it with a smile and keep the Kawaii faith! Never let the nay sayers that you won't achieve anything with the Kawaii lifestyle, or that it's not going to do you good, believe me, If I had a nickel for every reminder or for every scolding I get when it comes to Kawaii lifestyle not gonna do me good, I'd be a millionaire by now, so never think you are alone in this! We're all in this together! 

(photos from Kawaii PH)

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  1. Hello Mica! So happy to see you being empowered and true to yourself through kawaii. :)

  2. thank youuuu hihi!~ :D I'm also happy because of kawaii :3

  3. Reading yourself, I was reminded of my younger self. I had the same issues and insecurities as you. All I can say is, you have inspired me too in some way (and I'm older XD).

    Keep doing what you love and God bless you in all your endeavors. :)

    1. aww I'm sooo happy to hear that! *^* thank you so much! :D

  4. *typo ... I mean't, reading your blog post XDD